men...

I am so sick and tired of boys who text instead of call.
Not only text instead of call, but who text
really sweet, buttery, romantic crap and then not talk that way in real life.
I am so sick of boys. Not men...
Little boys.
Cowards who just text crap.
If you think I am worth flowers and poems...then where are they?
I don't see the poems or smell the flowers.
Cowards.
Sorry about ranting, but I have a feeling that
boys will always be boys and never real men.
I just hope that one day soon, God sends the one,
the one that changes my sad, hopeless perspective.
Sadly, I guess that's what happens when you have been hurt so badly.
I definitely know there's a fairy tale for me...
But the wait is killing me.
Maybe I am still in a state of trauma from losing my best friend/boyfriend.
I just didn't see it coming, and although I broke up with him first,
I wasn't ready for it to happen.
I could have loved him forever; but I am glad to know now that he never felt the same.
Back to the coward thing -- why didn't he tell me sooner?
Guess I was just a fun, high school fling for him.
I think I am just super scared of empty promises and pretty eyes now.
I truly trusted him, then he let go.
Not only did he let go of our courting relationship,
he left me like the sad dust that floats in the air on a gravel road
after a pathetic, country, hick truck grinds the motor and zips away.
Yes, I have accepted the fact that I should never want to be with him again.
And I don't -- not like that.
I know (with the way he treated me so poorly during and after the breakup)
that I am thankful and rejoicing that God let this happen now
and not 5 years into the marriage he promised me.
Everything happens for a reason,
and I am so grateful that God ended it then.
Yet at the same time,
I don't want to let go of our friendship.
I just don't get how two people who once loved each other
so very much could just not speak anymore.
He was my best friend. I thought he knew everything about me
and loved me anyway.
Yes, I truly still believe he did.
I knew his flaws and loved him anyway.
I always will *smile*
I can't hate him, even with all the pain he caused.
I enjoyed our relationship, but even more than that
our trusting friendship.
Now, I am left feeling like I can't trust any friends.
Maybe tomorrow...they will all desert me.
I pray every night for God to make my heart new.
To not only patch it up, but completely heal it.
I want to trust again.
I want to fall in love again one day.
But now, now, I am simply afraid.
Afraid of being broken and left like trash again.
Wow, I just poured my heart out.
All of this is true.
In fact, I am absolutely too honest and lack a filter.
Oh well, if you are reading this, let me know your opinion.
Maybe pray for me.
Thanks for being my friend.
-Sophia

15 days...

Fendi comes home in 15 days. So many things in my life are new! I am single. I am moving. I am a college student. I have a new car. I might even change my hair style. My little puppy will be along for the ride. She will be the perfect companion. -- she will love me in the good times and the bad, such unconditional love...I thought it was real, but maybe you can only get it from a doggie =/ Although I was hurt, I am feeling much better and ready to take on a new lifestyle! Life is wonderful.

Fendi update picture!

Fendi is now one month old...Now I just have to wait one more month!

my future puppy!

I will get her in July!

Until then...I can't wait!


her name will be Fendi Clarisse Marie

indecisive

When I was five years old, life wasn't this complicated.


I need a time machine....


Excuse me while I check Ebay

Obsessed

Life is nothing without passion, a great love for something. Without obsession, passion will fade.

This is how I justify my obsessions.

Beauty Blog - Achieving a Natural Glow

Modern makeup styles can overpower girls’ faces with harsh color and fake perfection. Currently, many women choose to shun sharp, edgy coverage and turn to natural, mineral makeup for a fresh, relaxed appearance. Although many ladies wear mineral products, they may not know how to apply them properly. To achieve a natural glow, girls should use a makeup that blends into their innate skin. Applying a product that only covers blemishes preserves genuine beauty. Bare Minerals cosmetics compliment each girl’s individual loveliness giving her a look that states she cares about her appearance but does not obsess over it. In order to paint a simply natural look, I apply Bare Minerals like an artist using my face as the canvas.

First, I cleanse my skin, apply a gentle toner with a cotton ball, and moisturize with an oil free, face lotion. Before beginning the makeup process, I squirt one pump of Skin Rev-er Upper on my fingers and distribute it over my entire face and eyelids; this step ensures that my skin will absorb the following products. When completing the skin preparation process, I pick out the exact foundation I need because matching skin color to the proper foundation shade is essential to achieving a great base. Taking the Flawless Face Brush, I softly dip the tip into my foundation pot, gently tap off any excess back into the lid, and polish my whole face. Next, I grab my Max Coverage Concealer Brush, dab it into the foundation pot, shake the extra off, and pat the foundation onto problem spots such as: the redness around my nose, the dark circles under my eyes, and any other trouble areas; this patting motion packs the product into pores and hides blemishes. After thoroughly creating a balanced complexion, I take my Angled Brush, swish it in the lid of the Warmth pot, pat off the surplus, then carefully stroke it just under my cheekbones to form depth and soft angles for my face. For the apples of my cheeks, I simply take a dab of a light pink Bare Minerals’ blush with the Angled Brush, and then paint a shear glow that smoothly sweeps up to the temples creating radiant shine. Finally, using the Flawless Face Brush, I pat the tool into the Mineral Veil pot, tap the extra off, and distribute it all over my face to seal the applications and leave behind a beautiful work of art.

Before finishing the look, I apply a light touch of eye makeup: gentle eyeliner, light eye shadow, and brown mascara. Wrapping up the process, I apply clear lip gloss. Thankfully, Bare Minerals makes a natural glow easily achievable. Even though Bare Minerals is famous for organic, light products, I can effortlessly rev up this look for an evening out by darkening the eye makeup and using a vibrant lip color. Because these products are versatile, I encourage all women to try the Bare Minerals cosmetic line. 

PS: this was actually a simple process report for school =P

shopping.

So I have two Fossil purses...and I can't choose...what to do?!